NEW PATH

Today I had to make the difficult decision to leave the dojo I’m part of for personal and health reasons. Over the past two weeks, I had some past back and joint issues return in full force after years of absence, as well as some new arthritic-like symptoms appear in my hands.

It was as though a large boulder fell from the heavens and blocked my martial arts path. Instead of seeing the boulder as an impossible challenge and turning back, though, I decided to find a way around or over it. But that way entails a much slower and more tailored journey than I was going to experience as part of any particular program.

So, rest for now. Then “baby steps” and physical therapy exercises for a bit. Then Yi Jin Jing version of Qigong since it is slow but also continues to build flexibility and muscle tone. Then kihon (basics) and kata (forms) of karate and waza (techniques) of iaido.

I have enough equipment in the backyard dojo for training. I have almost a year and a half of Shotokan and eight months of Yi Jin Jing as a good solid base. I have plenty of things to work upon. Plus, being in the backyard dojo allows me to return to my white belt and a “beginner’s mind.” To see things anew.

A couple of “dark nights of the soul” and plenty of time to reflect made me realize some of the things I don’t need as I walk The Way. I don’t need to compete to prove my worth. I don’t need stripes or belts or rank. And it is not that there's anything wrong with those things, but I don’t need them. I needed to develop a routine of training, which I have. I needed to figure out some of the basics, which I’m doing. I needed to build up my core strength, which I have done beyond what I thought I was capable of. I needed to discover how much I enjoy drawing a sword from a sheath—for many reasons—and so much so that I actually dream about working with 舌.

I give thanks for everyone who has been part of my martial arts journey to this point. You have provided me with a wonderful foundation for what takes place next.

BUDO BOOKS

Two new martial arts books. Karate-dō Kyōhan by Gichin Funakoshi, founder of Shotokan Karate, my school/style; and The Sword and the Mind translated by Hiroaki Sato, which contains three 17th-century Japanese texts on swordsmanship: Heihō Kaden Sho (Family-Transmitted Book on Swordsmanship); Fudōchi Shinmyō Roku (Divine Record of Immovable Wisdom); and Taia Ki (On the T'ai-a). 

 I'm ready to settle in for some learning and knowledge.

 

BLACK GI

On the same day (yesterday) that my hakama arrived (in the morning), my new black gi also arrived (in the evening). My gi had been on backorder since April. Supply chain issues seem to have hit the martial arts uniform companies as hard as any other business.

I've been working diligently on mapping out the Heian Yondan kata, and, with the help of The Child, finally have the pattern in my body. Now I've got a mountain of fine tuning to climb.

HAKAMA

I ordered hakama (pleated pants) that are traditionally worn over a full gi (uniform) during iaido. I needed to take them on their initial wearing in the backyard dojo.



Nukitsuke, the drawing cut.



Kirioroshi, the downward cut.



The beginning of noto, resheathing the sword.



Thrusting of the sword during kissakigaeshi, a waza (techinque) of a different school of iaido. But I enjoy practicing it.



Practicing drawing the sword. Living out Miyamoto Musashi's notion of sen (initiative).

HOLY PAIN

I split the bottom of my big toe this evening during karate, tearing through a callus and peeling back a nice chunk of meat. I borrowed some sports tape from a fellow student, put stuff back together, and got back out on the dojo floor. I earned my white stripe (kumite)! Now that I'm home, my calves are cramping so I'm rolling out the lactic acid. It's a night of "holy pain," but I wouldn't trade it for anything else. (Except for the pumpkin pie and pumpkin beer I'm indulging in.)

CHRISTIAN ZEN

I'm trying to find some connective tissue that binds my faith to the martial arts path I'm walking upon, without watering either down or making of one or the other (or both) a syncretic mess. It's not quite a manifesto, but rather apologetics meets poetics of "holy violence." Christian Zen by William Johnston has helped provide me some of the foundation on which I'm hoping to build.

Johnston is a Catholic priest who, at the time of the book's publication, had lived in Japan for twenty years. He incorporated elements of Zen, which he defines as "imageless mental prayer," into his daily Christian prayer life. He does so by asking a lot of questions, challenging his own assumptions, and engaging in conversation with Christians and Buddhists, Western and Eastern. Two ideas that were novel to me were (1) separating the notion of Zen from Zen Buddhism, which itself seems a very Zen thing to do; and (2) aligning his concept of Zen with the apophatic tradition of Christian mysticism.

Once the notion of Zen becomes "agnostic" and a technique of meditation, divorced (in some sense) from its Buddhist roots, it becomes another tool in my toolbox of prayer techniques. Iaido (Japanese sword drawing) is often referred to as "Zen in motion," so I'm quite happy to land where I have at the conclusion of this book.

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I read the majority of it during the free time I had at a mandatory overnight work retreat. I read some in my room, some in a small chapel on the retreat center campus, and some next to the tennis courts I practiced Yi Jin Jing upon in the early morning. Even though it was itself "work" of a sort, it was welcome work and a relief from the "other" work I was engaged in. It was mine!

THE VOID

It's cold and damp and dark in the backyard dojo. My sprained finger hurts. My thighs ache from warmup exercises at yesterday's karate class. I'm tired. They are all excuses. Self-imposed limitations.

And 舌 beckons. So I set up the mat. We work together. Train. Turn off all of the things that oppose us and strike out at the void.

CITY of DESTINY CLASSIC

We visited the City of Destiny Classic, which bills itself as the "Northwest's Premier Martial Arts Championships." It's an "open" tournament, so in addition to various schools and styles of karate, there were also competitors in kung fu, wushu, taekwondo, kenpo, and other martial arts. They competed in categories of kata (forms), kumite (sparring), kobudo (weapons), and Kyokushin sparring (full contact).

We were there not to compete but to watch others from our karate dojo.

My favorite thing to witness was what is pictured in this photo. It is of a fairly new yellow belt in our dojo score a point in kumite against his opponent. The other sensei called a timeout to confer with his student because neither could believe a yellow belt just scored a point in such manner. (It was a beautiful strike.) And I caught the action!

FLEXORS and EXTENSORS

Spraining my finger made me research physical therapy exercises to help heal my hand. That also made me realize that perhaps I should train and strengthen my hands and forearms more intentionally. These "empty hands" are my primary weapon, after all. So, here we are.

OPEN WORKOUT

I attended an open workout at my dojo for the first time. I enjoyed working at my own pace, but with the benefit of mirrors, others in the dojo also working out, and the ability to spread out a bit more than usual. I started with "yi jin jing" qigong to warm up and stretch out and then I spent the majority of the two hours I was there working on sword katas and the first half of Heian Yondan kata. I also appreciated "nudges" and advice from our Hanshi and some of the other instructors who were present. I will be a more frequent attendee of the open workout offerings.

BECAUSE KARATE

Hello, sprained finger!

In class tonight, The Child and I were paired up for kumite (sparring). The Child didn't like that I was using my leg to "knee jam" since I was only supposed to be blocking but The Child thought I was kicking. Anyway, The Child was getting frustrated and I taunted a bit. The Child sent a roundhouse kick my way and I blocked with a downward block. Mawashi geri, meet gedan barai!

I felt it immediately, but I could still move the finger and it didn't hurt too bad. Ten minutes later, I took an accidental punch to the groin (below the belt) from another opponent in another sparring match that sent me to the floor for a bit. That hurt a lot more than my hand. Until later...

At the end of class, I noticed that I had a nice "ring" of purple around my PIP (proximal interphalangeal) joint on my left index finger. So, into a finger splint it went. No numbness, no coldness, and not too much pain, plus I could move it most of the way, even though I couldn't bend that finger all the way into a fist.

Now it's a time of rest, ice, immobility, and physical therapy (so I regain full movement). It can take three to six weeks for full recovery.

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Even with this minor injury, I am truly living my best life. (No irony. No sarcasm.)

舌 / SHITA

Meet 舌 (shita / tongue), my iaitō, which is an unsharpened metal sword for practicing iaido. It replaces The Child's wooden bokken I've been using each day in the backyard dojo.

GREEN BELT

I tested for my green belt and passed.

 
Relief. Comfort. Calm. After a stressful two weeks of constant practice, trying to get my kata stripe, I did get it, which made it possible for me to test for the belt.

 

But, strangely, I felt as though I didn't deserve the stripe. I felt like an impostor, a fraud.

 

Why could I not trust that my instructors were right in giving me that kata stripe? Why could I not believe that I had worked hard and finally earned it? Trust? Faith? In karate?

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I helped out with the belt tests for the kids of our dojo. I had the opportunity to help kids in the Early, Basic, Core, and Extreme SKILLZ classes test for their next belts. I found that many of the kids were struggling with the same doubts, yet I knew that they were ready. They had earned their eight stripes in various abilities and skills for their belt levels to test for the next one. I believed in them when they doubted themselves. (There was a lesson to be learned!) Just as my instructors believe in me when I doubted myself.

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Helping out with all of the tests for the kid classes, prior to my own, relieved my own anxiety and nervousness. And, once I had my first mistake "under my belt" during my own test, I relaxed into the process and just did what I've been training to do.

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My tester was generous. He also provided great feedback and criticism. Did he rate me too high? I would tell you yes, but then the comments he included with the scores were on target. They were all things I've heard from other instructors, including our Shihan. So I'm leaning into it. Letting it be what it is. Enjoying the (brief) respite that will follow before it all begins anew and I begin the pursuit of my blue belt. 

DOWN for the COUNT

Down for the count!

The Child and I were working on kumite (sparring) in the backyard dojo, trying to get some extra practice in order that The Child could test for a kumite stripe. On our last round, I inadvertently moved into a reverse punch to my solar plexus, which took the wind out of me.

(I'm just going to lie here a while and gather myself back together.)

I also realized by looking at photos after our kumite rounds that I tend to (a) overuse my knees to block; (b) need to move my hands less, as well as keep them up and ready to block (I leave myself open way too often, especially against someone who favors the reverse punch!); and (c) need to lean in less.

(It's a learning process.)

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Update: the next day, I had a nice healthy bruise on my chest, which is impressive since we were both wearing padded gloves.

MEDICINE BALL

Another piece of new equipment for the backyard dojo: a ten-pound medicine ball. The plan is to increase the amount of strength training and conditioning I do each week.

This morning, I went and worked out on the outdoor "gym" equipment at a nearby city park. It's mostly resistance-type weight training machines that use your own body's weight against its muscles. Which meant that I felt every throw and catch and movement of that medicine ball tonight, especially in my pectorals.

MATS

Breaking in new backyard dojo equipment. 24 square feet of interlocking ¾" foam mats.

Squatting backward fall. Three-point landing.

MARTY

Working out with my homemade bag (Marty) in the backyard dojo tonight. I'm enjoying these dusk workouts.

The bonus is the buzz of dragonflies as they swarm overhead, hunting mosquitoes.

BREAKING BOARDS

Breaking boards. Backyard dojo. Dusk.

TESSEN

Someone (not me) was practicing Tessen-jutsu (art of the iron (war) fan) in the backyard dojo. So I had to try the fans, too.

TSUKENSHITAHAKU NO SAI

Tsukenshitahaku no Sai. Kobudo in the backyard dojo. Dusk.