REBEL MOON

Rebel Moon (2023) directed by Zack Snyder. OMG. Spoiler alerts, maybe?

Odin the Robot narrates the tale of the Battleship Yamato as it makes a pit stop at a farm world for food. Space Nazis from BY express their cruelty upon the population.

Space Nazi troops attempt rape. Brooding refugee kills rapists.

Campout in front of fantastic Frank Frazetta planetscapes after riding horses-not-horses to seek rebels.

Cue slomo-slaughter battle scene backstory.

Then Old West saloon with aliens. "These aren't the droids" moment meets Greedo shot first.

Trope stumbles over trope stumbles over exponential filmed references. Accents galore! More slomo!

Insert griffin taming. (No joke.) It's Tarzan/John Carter of Mars meets How To Train Your Dragon.

Next up: Bladerunner mining world to pick up medieval Korean noble, yet a woman in men's garb. Plus lightsabers. Versus Hunger Games spider. Seriously. SERIOUSLY.

Then Frozen backstory.

Every scene we are given a wink. Or is it a fart?

One of the gladiators from Gladiator. Bounty hunters. Betrayal. Jar Jar Binks as quiet king. The Bloodaxe siblings arrive.

NOW we have our Seven Samurai.

Nazi goes full Negan. Sell out. Guns blazing. Denouement.

Standoff! "Shoot out!"

Mutated 2001 Star Child after meeting Dumbledore in the afterlife.

Resurrection?

Ready for part two in April.

Streaming on Netflix.