on THE TAPHANDLE

Fire Hydrant Hefeweisen, a Hefeweisen by Fire Station 5 Brewing Company

Fire Boat Amber Ale, an Amber Ale by Fire Station 5 Brewing Company

Golden Brigade Blonde Ale, a Blonde Ale by Fire Station 5 Brewing Company

Portland Brewing Company brews Fire Station 5 ales exclusively for Fred Meyer. (I'm not sure that is necessarily a good thing. When was the last time you think that a subsidiary grocery store supplied by a subsidiary brewing company was concerned about the quality of the beer that was provided?)

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Three examples of "meh!"

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Stu Stuart of Belgian Beer Me! told me not to get too hung up on the particular style of a beer. I believe it to be good advice. If the label states it to be a porter but it is really more like a stout, and I thoroughly enjoy it, then does it really matter that the label states that it is a porter? Probably not.

That is one of the problems with Fire Station 5's Fire Hydrant Hefeweisen, however. The term "hefeweisen" conjures up an image, an aroma, and a flavor. I expect it to be unfiltered and hazy, with notes of both wheat and citrus.

The pour delivers an ale that is mostly clear. The bottle claims that it is unfiltered, but it appears to be thoroughly, even meticulously, filtered. The body is clear yellow, capped by a large white head for a few brief moments. There is almost no lacing to speak of.

The aroma and flavor are both of wheat and lemon. The flavor also has a bit of graham cracker hidden within. Then, pulses of alcohol and metal unexpectedly punctuate the flavor at irregular intervals.

This is completely different from other hefeweisens I have had. It was definitely not what I expected. The bottled claims it to be a hefeweisen and RateBeer claims it to be a wheat ale. I claim it to be neither.

My recommendation it to pass on this one.

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Golden Brigade Blonde Ale is the weakest of these three.

This one begins with light aromas—grain, an indistinct fruitiness, and sweaty leather jacket. The flavor that follows kicks off with a harsh "bite" and ends slightly metallic. There is not much in between except for a hint of a piece of hay dipped in melted caramel.

It is not very good. Would I have it again? In a word: no.

My recommendation is to pass on this one.

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Fire Boat Amber is the best of these three, but that is relative.

The pour delivers an amber, almost orange, body. The white head that forms is average, but quickly dissipates. There is virtually no lacing.

The aroma is of Honey Nut Cheerios and of damp soil after a light rain. The flavor presents earthiness, a touch of caramel, and an ever-so-minute nuttiness that is so much so that it almost isn't.

It is nothing spectacular. It is nothing bad. It is mediocre.

My recommendation is to drink this if it is offered and the only beer present. But don't purchase it. But something else.

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The answer to my initial parenthetical question is "probably never."