IN MEMORIAM

"It's a beautiful day, the sky falls. And you feel like it's a beautiful day. It's a beautiful day. Don't let it get away."
—from "Beautiful Day" by U2

"Your body may be gone, I'm gonna carry you in. In my head, in my heart, in my soul. And maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both live again. Well I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Don't think so."
—from "Ocean Breathes Salty" by Modest Mouse

The maternal grandmother was in the habit of sending out birthday cards at the beginning of the month for everyone who has a birthday within that particular month. The child received hers on the day that the maternal grandmother suffered a stroke, hit her head in a fall, or both. That part is still unclear. It would also be the day that the uncle was put in the position of deciding whether or not to remove life support. The trauma that the maternal grandmother suffered, whatever its cause, was severe enough to fill her skull with blood which shifted, shoved, and damaged her brain.

According to the postmark of Monday 01 October 2007, the card should have arrived at our house on Tuesday 02 October 2007. Instead, the maternal grandmother placed the wrong address on the envelope. It was obviously delivered to some other residence, whereupon an occupant of that house wrote "wrong address" on the envelope and promptly returned it to the postal service. It then arrived at our house on Thursday 04 October 2007, the day that the maternal grandmother began to die.

The wife and I opened the card and read it to the child through tears.

Dear [the child],
Love forever & ever.
Grandma Great.
[the maternal grandmother's name]
May all your dreams come true.

I myself felt dead. Of all days for this card to arrive, this had to be the day—the moment that I was waiting for other family members to arrive so that we could drive up together to be present when the maternal grandmother was removed from the ventilator she had been placed upon just hours prior.

The anger that welled up in me was so violent, so present, so furious that I didn't even have time to rage. It collapsed any framework of action within me in its flames. Rage became weeping. The cosmos collapsed in that moment.

Coincidence? Plan? Synchronicity? It ultimately doesn't matter. I just wish that I understood.