ROCK STAR DREAMS

This morning, upon waking, the child and I had the following conversation.

CHILD: I have a TV in my room.

TWT: Oh, really. Where is your television?

Child points to a watercolor picture of Noah's Ark, painted by a friend and former coworker of the wife.

CHILD: Right there!

TWT: So that's your TV, huh?

CHILD: Yeah, its so I can play Rockstar.

TWT: Rockstar?

CHILD: Yes. I play it every day before I go to bed. Every night, too.

TWT: Rockstar?

CHILD: Yes. Do you want to play, daddy?

TWT: No, thank you.

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After breakfast.

CHILD: Okay, daddy. I need to go back to bed.

TWT: You do? Why?

CHILD: So I can play Guitar Hero on my TV!

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In the car, listening to the radio. Some Gwen Stefani song is playing, some of the lyrics being sung by the child, which I am unsure of how the child knows them so well since the child is hearing the song for the first time, to my knowledge.

CHILD: Daddy, is this a Rockstar song?

TWT: What?

CHILD: Is this song on my Rockstar game?

TWT: Sure.

CHILD: I like it. Look daddy. I'm playing my guitar.

TWT: You are?

The child pretends to be fingering the frets of a guitar, or, more likely, the colored buttons of a game system "guitar."

CHILD: Here comes some green ones. I got them. Oh, yeah! I got a yellow one and a purple one.

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Later in the car.

CHILD: Is this Aunt ———'s guy?

TWT: What?

CHILD: Is this Aunt ———'s guy from Rockstar? Like at Uncle ———'s house?

TWT: I don't know. Is it?

CHILD: Yeah. It looks a little bit like him.

TWT: Okay.

CHILD: I'm going to be him.

TWT: Okay.

The child begins strumming a "guitar" again.

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So, who is to blame here? The child's fertile imagination is a likely culprit, although it points to a dearth of source material in this case. The brother and sister-in-law are likely culprits, since they are pretty close to being Guitar Hero and Rock Band evangelists. The modern media-and-marketing machine is surely culpable, due to its everpresent promotion of Guitar Hero and similar games.

Coming soon to your home: Guitar Hero, the cereal; the obligatory Saturday Night Live Guitar Hero sketch; Guitar Hero logo upper front teeth laser etching!